It seems like it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you're getting that because you're stressed, then you're afraid it will happen again, and then it does - because it's triggered by stress.
It's obvious this is caused by stress because you can't eat outside, even if it might be a coincidence that all this started when just you moved to Washington.
As much as we'd all like to think we can handle all that, sometimes we can't. I have read somewhere that once you break your stress threshold, you'll be jumpy all your life (Vietnam syndrome). Well I have broken mine numerous times, won't describe those moments now, but I have found out that I need to relax daily or the pressure from those tiny little things I could handle before will build up and my working ability will decrease.
Until I learned that, there were days when I couldn't even go out to buy newspaper. Some sort of anxiety. And, antidepressants don't necessarily mean you're depressed. They block the negative thoughts (hormones) so you can feel the happy ones, which also make you confident.
When I feel the pressure getting the best of me, I take a Xanax. It's like once every month or once every two months. Just to give me that one day without stress and I'm alright.
Two days ago I bought a new LCD 17" monitor (I mostly work from home). Until now I worked on an ugly 15" CRT, and with all the work piling up it became an unpleasant work environment. I couldn't force myself to work anymore. I'm not proud of not having enough willpower to do the job anyway, but the thing is - I recognized the problem and solved it. Small things can be the most important ones.
Even the people you love might be the cause of stress, especially if they want something from you when all you want is sleep or some time for yourself. No, I'm not talking about sex
Anyway, you need to have a time for yourself, every day. Whether it's taking a walk before dinner (alone) just to listen to your own thoughts for a while, or parking your car somewhere and listening to music for 10 minutes, or going to a toilet to read the newspaper like Al Bundy does, you got to do it.
Working out also helps, especially if you're playing some sport with the boys, like basketball. I'm not a fan of stinky gyms, playing b-ball with the guys who are all in the same situation as you are is a perfect stress reliever.
For example, I'm a new person since going on karate. Sure, that martial art sucks and I'd never defend myself with it, but - the youngest karate-ka we have is an 8 year old girl, and the oldest one is a 60 year old man. There are people who are just going through puberty, we have a world famous brain surgeon, a European karate champion, a president of a golf club, and it feels good to be a part of such a community. You know, most of us know how to talk only to people of our own age / background / interests. I can tell you I felt strange talking to young girls at first, after hearing all those stories about pedophiles I actually kind of felt it's a wrong thing to do, even though I like to talk to anyone. But it's all good. I was always kind of a spitfire, had a reputation of a heavyweight thai boxer with a short fuse, and here I go functioning in the same gym with a fragile 8 year old girl. Sure feels good. I'm sure we'd also accept a guy who works for a company like Applied Materials.
What I'm trying to say is - a man needs some time alone, and also needs some time among completely different people. It may seem unimportant, but take note we still have the same instincts as we had thousands of years ago.
This kind of life wasn't made for us. Pressure is all around, no freedom.
There are certain things every person needs in order to be happy. Food, shelter, sex, car, knowing who you are, and having a social role which suits you. The ideal combination would be working on your dream job (like I do, but take note I had problems with motivation also), and your social role has changed recently. New company, new position in the hierarchy. And from a normal family life you entered a situation where family became a burden because you're responsible for their destinies as individuals and the destiny of your family as a whole. It's like a "do or die" situation. From your perspective. Reality might be different.
Mental disturbance may be the cause of most health conditions. For example, you can know a man just by looking at the way he walks, talks, and stands. It all comes from the brain, and the brain is spending 70% (I think) of the entire energy your body does. It's controlling all your bodily functions. Therefore, bad thoughts can make you sick. Very, very sick.
I wouldn't recommend taking any pills or visiting a shrink, you'll feel the best by solving this on your own. And you can do that just by asking yourself "what do I really need?". The answer sure won't be "I need my wife to expect me to give 120% of my abilities just to prove to her this was a right move", or "I need to be afraid my boss will fire me". They wouldn't hire you if they didn't think you were good, and your family wouldn't follow if they didn't think of you as their leader.
I hope this all helps, or at least that it was an interesting read. Take it easy.
