*NOTE: WE DON'T TAKE OURSELVES SERIOUSLY. WE ARE NOT A "REAL" MAFIA...OR GANGSTERS IN ANY WAY. WE ARE A CAR CLUB, AND HAVE NO DELUSIONS OF GRANDIOSITY
Me, 187sks, The Don...
I keep the family running in peak condition and make many of the important decisions while delegating some responsibilities to my higher ranking officers.
, Hyundai Mafia Interrogator. He occasionally has to bust a kneecap or two if some birdie won't sing. Due to his amazing ability to sniff out a rat he is also be our liason to the South American drug cartels. His nerves of steel keep our product overhead prices low because he drives one hard bargain. He is fresh out of lockup in banned camp. 40 days in the bighouse made him hard to the world.
, Psycho Sock Strangler. 136 ways to kill a man with nothing but a tube sock. Don't make him give you a demonstration. Works under Loki in my security detail and as hard as it is he can make it look like you had a fatal sock accident.
, Queen of the Cage. Breezy controls our most successful no holds barred fight to the death cage arena. She is assisted unofficially by her husband Baiocco in the operation of the facility. On days when the patrons are particularly lucky she doubles as the ring card girl between rounds.
, Jedi Knight Frontman. He operates a movie store front for us ("Jedi Knight") that deals in bootlegged movies, weapons sales, and whatnot. He also assists us with our internet presence.
...Jimmy the Mover...Hyundai Mafia Wheelman. He is rumored to have completed the Kessel Run in less than 11 parsecs, destroying the previous record by nearly a full parsec. If you need someone to get you there fast, get your stuff there fast, or to get you the hell outta Dodge fast he's your man.
, Head of Hyundai Mafia Research Department. He provides us with news stories of particular importance or interest to us. He is here to ensure that none of us actually has to go to fark.com ourselves.
, Ninja Assasin. Ever been hit upside the head with a nine iron by a second degree blackbelt? Unless you want to be able to answer yes to that question in the future you had better watch yourself when you're around 95_Accent_GSI.
, Hyundai Mafia Crash Test Dummy. Always willing to step in if we need to roll a car and stuff a body in it to make it look like an accident. It's not a position that gets a lot of glory but it takes guts. Designated target for the Psycho Socks Strangler to try his new techniques on. Somehow after the constant loss of oxygen, hard cranial impacts, 3rd degree burns, and compound fractures he still manages rudimentary reasoning.
, Hyundai Mafia BigTruck Driver. Sometimes even the best gasoline powered Hyundai isn't enough to get the job done. Those times call for Platinum6316. Coming to the rescue with 18 wheels of vengence he is able to out-muscle just about anything on the road.
, Hyundai Mafia Off-Road Specialist. Whether we need something discretely transported through the thick jungles of Panama or moved across the open expanse of desert between Sonora and Nogales he is our man.
, my Right Hand Man. Takes care of business in my absence and has power second only to my own. One day all of this may be his.
, Hyundai Mafia official model. She models at our car shows, in our print material, and whenever else a model may be necessary. She is also the ring card girl whenever Breezy is not doing it.
, Hyundai Mafia Enforcer. Loki takes care of some of our messier business and is head of my personal security entourage. To get to me you would have to make it past him, so I sleep well at night.
, Associate Pressman and Breezy's Assistant. When he's not helping Breezy with the cage arena he assists omgbossis21 with any necessary printing press work.
, my Right Hand Man's Right Hand Man. In the event that Jed may be unable to fulfill his duties as right hand man, Jerkitt shall fulfill his duties.
, Hyundai Mafia Moderator. His duties include keeping us from hatin' on each other and media relations to other organizations. He is serving dual duties between his responsibilities to HM and HP. He is exceptionally skilled at dodging moose and caribou on his bicycle.
, Hyundai Mafia Pressman. He makes a tee shirt here, a passport there, a little green in the meantime, etc. If it was printed, it's moved through his hands at one point or another.
, Hyundai Mafia Assassin. He assists Loki whenever he is needed to take someone out in a very messy and dramatic way. If rubenz goes on a job you know it is going to end up on the five o'clock news.
, Bean Counter and Fashion Guru. Keeps us looking good on a budget.
, Co-Webmaster and IT specialist. Helps us out with all this technological wizardry.
, Beta Swapper. He is in charge of making our Accents faster, and providing technical assistance to members who would like to make their own Accents faster. This allows us to build credibility for the entire Hyundai family, even outside of HM.
, Air Ride Suspension Specialist. Sometimes you need the ability to go in low and slow and come out with some actual ground clearance. guilty always sets us up so that we can go up and down.
, Mechanic/Saboteur. Keeps our Hyundais running in peak condition, while ensuring that we can make clean getaways. Can't catch anyone with cut brake lines.
, Queen Bee. A motherly figure who helps guide us and keep us in line. Always good for words of wisdom, and a last line against us doing something foolish.
, Hyundai Mafia Pimp. Nobody knows pimpin' ain't easy like endlessmike. He works the ladies hard, keeps his pimp hand strong, and brings the organization a lot of green.
, Hyundai Mafia Youth Relations Specialist. In charge of recruiting the next generation. Need a 14 year old to smuggle something on the school bus? He can help with that.
, Hyundai Mafia Manufacturer Liason. Applies pressure in strategic locations as necessary to convince aftermarket companies that making parts for Hyundais is worth their time and effort.
, Hyundai Mafia Armorer. Provides us with the right tools for the trade when necessary. His military connections never say no to Benjamin Franklin.
, Hyundai Mafia Foreign Relations Delegate. Unafraid to say what he really thinks no matter how inappropriate it may be. You know you're in trouble if you're in the middle of negotiations and he walks over and gives you a kiss. That is of course unless you're just a hot chick. In that case he may just be hot for what you got.
, Hyundai Mafia photographer and blackmail specialist. Sometimes we need that perfect angle to show our car's best sides for a magazine, sometimes we need that perfect angle to catch a rat passing out family secrets. Either way Attist is our man.
, Hyundai Mafia Covert Operative. Sometimes rats aren't all bad, at least when they're your
rats. Whether we have a need to see what a rival family is up to or we need to have an inside man at the local cop shop accentedeclipse is all over it.
, Hyundai Mafia Flag Girl. When the opportunity presents itself the Hyundai Mafia has been known to use an abandoned stretch of road as our drag strip. For the times when an official Christmas tree isn't avaliable we have 97redtib.
, Hyundai Mafia Domestic Specialist. She's there for us whether we need some delicious treat or to get the blood stains out of our overcoats. Does club soda take brain out of the back seat of a Lincoln? I don't need to know with drtygurl around.
Family Eligibility Requirements-
Must be a HP member for 120 days minimum.
Must have 250 post count minimum.
Must recieve 5 yes votes from current members in good standing.