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Discussion Starter #1
I'll say this before i write anything else about it. This is my opinion and if this gets out of hand and needs to be locked I completely understand.

So anyway, last Tuesday night my brother in law was involved in a 1 car accident. He apparently ran his truck head on into a telephone poll at 2:30 AM. My wife called me at work crying because he told her that he was trying to kill himself. I was like WTF and told her to calm down because she is 6 months pregnant and I told her that even though it was her brother she just needed to calm down for our baby's sake.
I will start here by giving you all a little run down of his life for the past 4 years:
He moved out of his parents house about 6 years ago and moved to North Carolina with 2 of his high school friends. They were partying and drinking and druging it up. My wife and I started dating and we went down to visit him over Thanksgiving weekend. As soon as we got down there we noticed his change in attitude and lifestyle. Anyways, we returned home and then he decided to move back home 2 months later. The wonderful brother in law that I am offered to help him move back (mind you I was not married to his sister at the time). Everything went fine and he moved back in with his parents.
He then met a girl and moved in with her. She was relly nice and they seemed perfect for eachother. Even thought he's a year older than me (28) he acts like an 18 years old. The girl he was dating was 19 so it worked out in a wierd way. Anyway, they got engaged and later broke it of while planning the wedding:(. He then moved back in with his parents and then the fun began. Over the coarse of the past 2 years he has been arrested 3 times for DWI. I had to bail him out twice and am still waiting for the money. He owes me about $3,000 but I won't say anything because he's family (unfortunatly). He's had about 6-7 jobs because him and his friends drink every night and wake up hung over.
Now I'm not saying that my life is perfect but I'm 28, married for 4 years to a wonderful woman, have a son on the way, 2 new cars, a house, a motorcycle and best of all, I'm happy.
Now he's been put in a 28 day program to get him sober and off the subject of killing himself. I forgot to mention that he sleeps with the engagement ring under his pillow and they found a 12 guage hidden between his bed and the wall.
Now I'm not trying to be mean or anything but I want to kill the mother f*cker. How dare he do this to my wife and her family. He has knowone else to blame for his mistakes but himself. He needs to grow the **** up and get on with it. "I tried killing myself because I couldn't take it anymore", SHUT THE **** UP. If he wants to die I ****ing kill him tommorrow with no regrets.
Why are people so ****ing weak? Society says they have problems and maybe they do grow the **** up! I want to ring his ****ing neck right now.

So again, this is my bitch and I don't want anyone to side with him. This is HIS mess, he needs to deal with it and grow the **** up. Thanks for listening.
If anyone has experience with a suicidal family member or friend I would realy appreciate some pointers.
 

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Sounds like he's listening to those pussies called simple plan... whatev I wanted to kill myself over my ex, then I realized how awesome it is without her. Then I began to really live!! he needs to find something he loves doing... crashing a car, there are more effective ways to end yourself.
 

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He's just looking for attention. Nobody actually tries to kill themselves in a car wreck and fails. Stop bailing him out though, you're not doing him any favors by delaying his reality check of spending some time in lockup.

I wish the same thing for my mom's boyfriend. He shot himself in the head and lived because he is apparently a bad shot at point blank range and only grazed himself. My life would be so much better off if he could have just hit what he was aiming at. Dammit.

I also have a loser brother in law that I wish was suicidal. Instead he's a meth addicted thief that's in and out of jail. He pawns all his stuff and a lot of other people's stuff, but my wife insisted we buy him a Xmas present. I should just offer to buy it back from him for half price and skip the whole pawning action.

Maybe our brother in laws should have a grenade duel in a small room together.
 

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I went threw something similar a couple years ago with my younger brother. He dropped out of school was on drugs and stealing pain medication from my parents. He then ran away from home and was living with some dirtbag losers in a trailer park. My mom was worried sick and begged for me to come home and find him(I was stationed in Germany at the time). So I end up buying a ticket and flying home. Asked some of my old HS friends that were still living in town where he might be. Ended up finding out where he was and headed up there with my best friend and dragged him out.

Parents sent him to Boys Town of America in Omaha, NE. He stayed there for about 2 months and my Mom said he was improving and attending classes. Well that didn't last long, he ended up running away from there and breaking into a ACE hardware store with a couple of other runaways and then where caught by the cops with a stolen car.

He did 8 months in a juvenile detention home and got clean. He then got a job as a welder but that wasn't going anywhere(the kid really can weld too, job was just a dead end as far as training and promotions go)

Parents start discovering pills missing again. They're done with him, don't know what else too do so I said send his ass down here(I'm now in Arizona) and let me give it a try. He moved down here in the follow couple of weeks.

We get him enrolled in a GED program and sign him up for counseling(Arizona has a very good public assistance program regarding addicts). A couple months go by and things are going so much smoother. I find him a 95 camry for cheap(it just needed a new AC compressor and belt) and he then enrolls at the community college for some welding classes. He does so well in them his teacher hooks him up with a job doing contracting welding(he's welding I-beams for a new Highschool atm). He currently is certified in 2 types of welding(mig and stick) and going to get his Tig cert. soon.

Whooeee, I got on a roll. Hope **** works out man, people do recover, they sometimes just need a kick in the right direction.
 

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i hate to say it but total abandonment is never a good solution. I know most of us feel like "well im not f'ed up, im not like that. whats the kids problem...fvck him then if he feels that way."

I was raised on the principles through the military (after witnessing someone shooting themselves in the head with an M-16 when i was about 20 ft away from them) and my family that someone who is suicidal is a deep down and selfish person and doesnt think of anyone but themself and is ignorant the feelings of those around them. However i dont agree with this. Plainly put, everyone is different, people have problems and need help and support. A lot of people are dicked up and need a couple of good shoves in the right direction, not belittlement and abandonment by their family.

However there comes a point when you have to move on with your life after a miriad of attempts to aid this person which also makes you realize, some people, just dont want to be helped so there is nothing you can do.

Good luck to you though regardless of what happens, looks like youll need it (or you brother in law)
 

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Oh I forgot to mention he stole $500,000 worth of equipment and tools from his dad's machine shop and - no joke - traded it for $25 worth of meth.

Hope your situation improves too man.
 

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OMG!!! $25?


That's... well that's... damn I want to be on the receiving end of a deal like that! For shop equpiment for that price i'd probably suck his dick too!!! :shocked:
 

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my ex roommate tried t od and called an ambulance for herself. a freind of mine says she was just too incompetent to do it.
 

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how do you OD? Like, how do you do it? How can you take that much of anything... I've tried the standard array of drugs any 23 year old would have taken living in such areas as Jane-Finch, Rexdale, and then fleetwood, but, damn... I guess I do it so sporadically that it's allready enough to begin with.
 

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There is a kid that lives in my town that jumped off the roof of his school. I don't remeber how tall it was somwhere between 2-4 stories. I want to say three. Anyway he was upset because his girlfriend broke up with him kid was like 15 and a few kids made fun of him or some dumb stuff. Anyway fall didn't kill him no suprise there and now the kid thought his life was hard before in a chair for life. One at 15 you have a lot to live for even at 28 or 40 maybe I can see if you wife dies and you are 80 maybe, but one girl can screw you up that bad. Anyway the kid has a real suppostive family and it about killed the kids mom when she found out about it. You have to get though to him somehow giving up isn't an option. DDAcent01 has the right idea, other people aren't helping enough fix it yourself. The biggest problem is you say you don't care but if he really does kill himself you may be okay but I almost garuntee your wife will not be the same.
 

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I'll agree, he is just looking for attention.

Although it is making your wife upset, imagine how destroyed she would be if he did kill himself. I understand bailing him out for the first DUI, but the second time you should have just let him sit in jail.

It is time for tough love from everyone in my opinion. People can't give him mone, a place to stay or any other financial support. He has been able to depend on people to bail him out for too long and he needs to learn to bail himself out for a change.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Well since my rant he has gone to a 30 day rehab for alcohol abuse. When he came out it was a little wierd. He is on some perscription drugs and he goes to AA every night and has to go for 90 days straight. He has a court date on Feb. 6 and if he's found guilty could do up to 9 months in jail. I really don't think that he'll go away because the police work was done really crappy. The arrested him for DUI, leaving the scene of an accident, failure to raport an accident and giving false information. A friend of my in-laws family is on the towns police and said that he'll problably get off. They charged him with DUI even thought they did not give him a field test. Now I know that they can do that but they didn't ask him if he was driving. My understanding is that they asked why he didn't report it and why he was leaving and he said because it was 2:30am on a back road with no one around. Now personally if that happened to me I would have doen the same thing. They have no way of proving that he wasn't going for help because he'd have to leave to go and get help.
I'll update this next week after he goes to court.
 

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wow man,
thats crazy brutal eh? he has NO RIGHT to do that to your wifes family and soon to be yours. and i can completely understand this man, my buddy jason from my cottage he was sick man, a good guy we used to work on cars and stuff together, good friends met him the summer before, a cool guy all in all, not on drugs drank and partied the odd time no big deal. i moved into my new place on sept 11.th right a saturday the next sunday, i get a call, Jason Commited suicide, dont know why he wasnt any emo poser, wasnt depressed always happy, man what can fvck someone up so bad it pushes you to that? i never even found out, man the poor kid left his lil bro mom and dad behind... it sucks..man no one deserves to deal with this Shiznat...
Hope everything gets alot better man, your doin well for yourself keep it up and enjoy life.

-Chris
 

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Sorry to hear about all that crap. I dont know if you seen awhile back when I posted that me and my Mother had my brother baker acted b/c he was using meth. Well he remained in rehab for 3 months until one of his "friends" showed up to visit him. His "friend" slipped him some meth which he used and the next day he ran away from the rehab center. After being out for a month we had him baker acted again b/c he was doing the same thing. At the time it seemed as if their was no penalty for leaving the rehab center even though it was court ordered. BTW, your allowed to walk outside in the parking lot to smoke cigs or whatever in a rehab center, no guards or anything. Well When he showed up at 3am with his girl at my moms house the next morning my mom found them on the couch to pick him up and take him back to rehab. They came to the house and found a complete meth lab in his car this past sat. He is currently looking at 20yrs mandatory and they havent even charged him w/ vioation of probation yet.... (hes on felony probation). My mom isnt taking it very well at all... We are trying to get him a lawyer, he needs help like rehab not 25 years in jail.... thats kinda stupid. The lawyer we are talking to says he can get him in rehab instead of prison but I dunno. He did try to go back to a rehab center after he left that one but after sitting through detox they kicked him out b/c he didnt fail the drug test! It is a huge mess and he was on the news yesterday...... Everyone knows and my mom works at a school!!!! The family is not taking it well (im dealing w/ it as i can). He never stopped to think about his actions affecting anyone else. I think all he was thinking about was more meth...
 

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I know how you are all feeling. My father (Step father really but has been around for as many years as I can remember and was the closest thing I have had to a dad) committed suicide by jumping off the bridge in our city. People do it there all the time as its a certainty you will die.

The story goes like this:
When my mum met him they were both into drugs (Speed mainly). I was too young to understand there was anything going on though. They used behind closed doors and disposed of everything really well. This went on for another 4 or 5 years. They then got their stuff together and got off the drugs cold turkey.

The stayed off them for about 5 years at which time he went to visit his dad in Sydney and met up with some of his old 'Buddies' and they got him on the stuff again.

He then got really heavily into it and mum got really agrovated with him and lost a lot of respect for him. But then mum started again. They quickly sold all of our stuff to buy their next hits... Things got really bad and everything was going to sh!t.

Then mum fell pregant with my little sister and she immediatly stopped using. She cleaned herself up really quickly and has been fine ever since.

My dad though just couldnt get off it. He wasn't strong enough. He got himself a job as a cab driver and got himself pretty good. He then got 13 speeding tickets in a week (Lost his licence 3 times over just on the points he lost) and got huge fines (AUD3500). He couldnt pay and kept using. Mum couldnt handle it anymore and split up with him until he sorted things out for the baby's sake.

Things became pretty violent then for the next 12mts. He kept coming around and smashing windows with his fist and causing trouble and wanting to see his daughter. Mum got a restraining order out on him so he couldnt come within 200 metres of us but it didnt stop him. He came around and the cops were called every time. They flagged us as an emergency so whenever we called they would be there within 2 minutes. They just had to catch him there and he would go to prison. In the end after 26 breaches of the order he went to prison for 6 months.

He obviously got pretty good while in prison. Stopped mixing with the wrong people and got off the drugs with the help of the psych ward at the jail. Starting taking the correct medication for his drug induced schitsophrenia (excuse the spelling).

He moved back in and was doing really well. We were finally a family again. His 2 year old daughter was loving having him around. He was fine for a year. Then on May 13 2005 he caught the bus to town, didnt act any different than normal and jumped.

We still have no idea why he did it.

Some of the thoughts we have are:
-Met some old mates on the bus and they gave him sh!t for getting his life together or tried to get him back on the drugs
-Mum is in a housing commission (government) house for low income earners and he wasnt supposed to be living there. They called that morning asking for paul and mum let him know that. He might have been ending it to stop mum losing her house and getting big fines.

Its not cool to have someone in your family die. It doesnt matter how much you hate them (I did hate him after he went to jail even though he was better I kept thinking he was going to **** up again). You do miss them when theyre gone. You cant get them back.

I really hope everything works out alright for everyone that still has their loved one here. Try to help them and dont shun them. Give them the support they need. Not necessarily monetary support but love and forgiveness. I would hate for you to have to find out they're gone too.

--Aaron--
 

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didnt mean to scare everyone off this topic. Sorry.

--Aaron--
 
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