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Winders 98 Southern Edition

Dear Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION
may have accidentally been shipped outside the South. If you have one of
these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The Southern
edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 98,
with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a
Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazard
screen saver.

Please also note:

- The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
- My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
- Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
- Control Panel is known as the "Dashboard"
- Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive"
- Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"
- Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION:

OK . . . . . . . . . . .ats aw-right
Cancel . . . . . . . . .stopdat
Reset . . . . . . . . . try er agin
Yes . . . . . . . . . .yep
No . . . . . . . . . . .noop
Find . . . . . . . . . .hunt fer it
Go to. . . . . . . . . .over yonder
Back . . . . . . . . . .back yonder
Help . . . . . . . . . .hep me out here
Stop . . . . . . . . . kwit it
Start . . . . . . . . . crank er up
Settings . . . . . . . settins
Programs . . . . . . . .stuff that duz stuff
Documents . . . . . . . stuff ah done did

Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or
punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98:

Tieporiter . . . . . . A word processing program
Colerin' book . . . . .a graphics program
cyferin mersheen . . . Calculator
outhouse paper . . . . notepad
iner-net . . . . . . . Microsoft Explorer 4.0
pichers . . . . . . . .A graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the
SOUTHERN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. I
hope this helps y'all!

Billy Bob Gates

--------------------------------------------
I drive a slow car.
0 to 60 in 11 seconds (look out!)
 

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I will repeat....
Somebody had WAY too much time on his hands....But I'm still not naming any names......<img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle>

<img src="http://www.wtfisup.com/images/hosted/ir2k.jpg" border=0>
I Race Hard, Live Fast, Yet Still Maintain My Sweet Innocence. I'll Be A Girl Racer Forever!!!
Luv, IR2
**P.S. IR2 Doesn't really Love you...So stop dreaming Brendan.**
 
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